I'm going home in two days.







I'm not sure why I'm looking forward to it so much. The weather there is no better and the living situation will not be any more tolerable, considering I'll be staying with my family and it's the holidays. I'm also not looking forward to a 10-hour train ride with screaming children.

I'm going to start at iO soon and I don't think I've ever been this nervous for anything in my life. I put my love of the stage behind when I was just a kid, because I had and still have awful anxiety and didn't want to be judged by my peers. I was also too lazy. But now I'm in a good city for it, and Aaron and I have had plenty of arguments about how I have to start 'doing what I want to do' and how I 'can't be following him' or 'in his shadow'. Plus Colin has been giving me motivational speeches, too. It's all working. And I suppose, the way I see it, it's now or never to start with these things, especially since I'll be very inclined to give up on it at any time.

I'm glad I have the holiday off, home for 5 days. I'm sick of 11-hour shifts at work and getting out at 5 in the morning.

My family thinks I'm dead.

The fact that I know this for certain makes me a horrible person.
I had 10 unheard voicemails today.





Something went very wrong with my bike chain and gears when I was getting out of work the other night at 3 a.m. I had to walk it home in the cold in an unsafe neighborhood by myself.

I was told I'd be terminated from my job if I were to switch to only day shifts, despite that my safety is at risk. Switching to day shifts, to my surprise, is "absolutely not allowed" and that "that's not why we brought you here". I have a broken bike, there are several inches of snow on the ground, and no car. Cab fares will be a bitch in the long run, and that's not money that we have to spare. The job search just got much more interesting. And urgent.