Oh hi.


















In the past two months, I have managed to get fired from one job, quit another, weasel my way out of another, and get hired again and accept simply out of my need to settle. The hours at said job average around 12 a week. Thus, I have buyer's remorse for anything over 5 dollars, whether it is necessary or not.

I'm currently working on a zine. I've been ingesting copious amounts of caffeine and enjoying the mere 3 weeks of glorious springtime in the midwest before the sweltering heat of summer arrives.

My mother recently visited, and I have come to the conclusion that she is incapable of relaxing, considering this was technically a vacation for her. All she wanted to do was wash our dishes, do our laundry, and iron our comforter cover. In a desperate attempt to pull her away from chores, we went to the Museum of Contemporary Art, mostly because I had been dying to see the Jenny Holzer exhibit and because we typically make it a point to visit a museum when she visits. If you live in Chicago, it is worth seeing.

My dear friend / previous roommate from Michigan visited during New Year's as well. Two of my friends from Michigan and ONE FROM MINNESOTA, my mother and father, have already visited; I'm trying to convince my brother to visit, but the fact that I have to talk him into it makes me think I should probably stop.


CURRENTLY.

01. I'm broke and uninsured, and it is costing me $72 a month to not have babies. I have sacrificed several other anti-anxiety and anti-depressant prescriptions because of how much these things are costing me. That being said, I also can't afford leggings or anything in this awful cold so I have been wearing sweat pants under my other pants. OKAY, THIS WAS ALL TMI.

02. The job hunt continues. Craigslist and I hang out every single day, but after four months, I have still not had a single lead. Since the holidays have ended, hours are scarce at my current job. I've managed to fix my bike so it's easier, cheaper, and faster to get to work. However, it is difficult to ride on side streets this time of year.

03. And this obviously goes without saying. Election day was by far my favorite moment of last year and the 20th was so far my favorite of this year. But I was very involved in this and it means a lot to me, so a separate entry is worthy of this; I'll get on that later.

I'm going home in two days.







I'm not sure why I'm looking forward to it so much. The weather there is no better and the living situation will not be any more tolerable, considering I'll be staying with my family and it's the holidays. I'm also not looking forward to a 10-hour train ride with screaming children.

I'm going to start at iO soon and I don't think I've ever been this nervous for anything in my life. I put my love of the stage behind when I was just a kid, because I had and still have awful anxiety and didn't want to be judged by my peers. I was also too lazy. But now I'm in a good city for it, and Aaron and I have had plenty of arguments about how I have to start 'doing what I want to do' and how I 'can't be following him' or 'in his shadow'. Plus Colin has been giving me motivational speeches, too. It's all working. And I suppose, the way I see it, it's now or never to start with these things, especially since I'll be very inclined to give up on it at any time.

I'm glad I have the holiday off, home for 5 days. I'm sick of 11-hour shifts at work and getting out at 5 in the morning.

My family thinks I'm dead.

The fact that I know this for certain makes me a horrible person.
I had 10 unheard voicemails today.





Something went very wrong with my bike chain and gears when I was getting out of work the other night at 3 a.m. I had to walk it home in the cold in an unsafe neighborhood by myself.

I was told I'd be terminated from my job if I were to switch to only day shifts, despite that my safety is at risk. Switching to day shifts, to my surprise, is "absolutely not allowed" and that "that's not why we brought you here". I have a broken bike, there are several inches of snow on the ground, and no car. Cab fares will be a bitch in the long run, and that's not money that we have to spare. The job search just got much more interesting. And urgent.

The house I grew up in is no longer my home. But it's not bad.

Aaron and I live in a tiny apartment in downtown Chicago. It was a relief to finally leave Detroit. Although I miss my brother and my dog, it was a solid decision a full year in the making. Aaron has a job at Argo Tea, a growing chain of cafes in Chicago. He's attending Second City and enjoying himself. In the meantime, I am not attending school and working a part time job that I truly despise. Everybody wins.

My digital camera battery charger has been m.i.a. for several months now. I gave up trying to find it once I'd finished packing before the move. I've been shooting strictly with film for several months and I do not regret this. I am always more pleased with the outcome of the photos themselves and it is much more exciting and skill-sharpening. And since I could use an awful lot of polishing, it's nice. The massive downside, however, is that I have no means of developing the photos myself, so the film and developing is very costly.

I have my sketchbook and cigarettes to keep me company.

Recently:
- being broke
- Brad Neely's Creased Comics. So awesome.
- going to job interviews and feeling like a tool while trying desperately to avoid my current job
- This is now mine.
- care packages from family at home
- I don't have mittens.